In an era obsessed with optimisation, transparency and efficiency, one company has bravely asked a forbidden question: what if clarity is the problem?
Introducing SystemConfusion™, the enterprise workflow enhancement platform that replaces dangerous two-step processes with robust, morale-building, twenty-two-step journeys. Because when nobody understands what’s happening, nobody questions what’s happening.
The Myth of Simplicity
For decades, businesses have fallen victim to “streamlining”. Two approvals instead of five. One form instead of three. Clear communication. Defined ownership. Catastrophic mistakes.
SystemConfusion™ recognises a fundamental truth of corporate life: when processes are short, employees have time to think. When employees have time to think, they start asking questions. When they start asking questions, leadership must provide answers.
And answering questions is inefficient.
Why Two Steps When You Can Have Twenty-Two?
Take a simple example: requesting a new keyboard.
Old Process (Dangerously Efficient):
- Submit request.
- Manager approves.
Total time: 4 minutes. Clarity level: Extremely high. Risk of awareness: Significant.
SystemConfusion™ Enhanced Process:
- Step 1: Submit request form A-17 (Hardware Intent Declaration).
- Step 2: Upload ergonomic justification statement.
- Step 3: Complete Environmental Impact Reflection form.
- Step 4: Await automated alignment scoring.
- Step 5: Reformat request after alignment deviation notice.
- Step 6: Secure peer validation from two adjacent departments.
- Step 7: Confirm budget category interpretation.
- Step 8: Resubmit under revised budget taxonomy.
- Step 9: Attend Keyboard Justification Workshop (optional but mandatory).
- Step 10–17: Escalate through layered approval visibility matrix.
- Step 18: Receive provisional approval pending strategic re-evaluation.
- Step 19: Submit confirmation of continued keyboard necessity.
- Step 20: Reaffirm desire for keyboard in light of corporate priorities.
- Step 21: Await quarterly procurement window.
- Step 22: Receive mouse.
Total time: 6–14 weeks. Clarity level: Comfortably low. Risk of awareness: Neutralised.
Confusion as a Governance Strategy
SystemConfusion™ is not merely a workflow tool. It is a behavioural stabilisation framework.
When processes are labyrinthine, three powerful effects occur:
- Cognitive Fatigue: Staff become too mentally exhausted to question intent.
- Diffuse Accountability: Responsibility becomes beautifully untraceable.
- Procedural Awe: The system appears too vast to challenge.
Research conducted internally by SystemConfusion™ (and reviewed by the same team) shows a 78% drop in employee follow-up queries once processes exceed 14 steps. At 19 steps, curiosity collapses entirely.
The Illusion of Participation
Critics claim over-engineered processes alienate staff. On the contrary, SystemConfusion™ increases engagement through structured uncertainty.
Employees attend workshops, complete declarations, align to matrices and revalidate intentions. They feel involved. They feel measured. They feel processed.
Whether they receive the keyboard is secondary.
Features That Matter (Mostly to the System)
- Adaptive Complexity Engine™ – Automatically increases steps if employees complete tasks too quickly.
- Redundant Approval Generator – Adds invisible reviewers to delay suspicious efficiency.
- Alignment Drift Monitor – Flags enthusiasm spikes as potential dissent.
- Procurement Fog Layer – Randomises fulfilment outcomes to preserve mystique.
- Executive Clarity Shield – Ensures leadership dashboards display smooth, colourful metrics regardless of actual outcomes.
All features integrate seamlessly with existing confusion ecosystems.
When No One Knows, No One Objects
The genius of SystemConfusion™ lies in its quiet brilliance. Employees stop asking, “Why is this happening?” and start asking, “Which form was I supposed to re-upload?”
Energy shifts from strategic thought to procedural survival. Conversations become tactical rather than philosophical. The organisation hums, not with clarity, but with compliance.
Even better, every outcome can be justified. If something fails, it clearly failed at Step 13, subsection D. The system is innocent. The process was followed. Therefore the outcome was correct.
Is It Ethical?
SystemConfusion™ prefers the term “stability-oriented”.
In a world where transparency creates anxiety and simplicity invites scrutiny, complexity offers comfort. Twenty-two steps provide something two steps never could: the reassuring sense that something important must be happening.
And if nobody quite understands what that something is, that’s a sign it’s working.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Maze
Efficiency is fashionable. Clarity is admirable. But stability? Stability requires density.
SystemConfusion™ doesn’t remove friction. It weaponises it. It transforms two-step logic into twenty-two-step resilience. It protects leadership from inconvenient curiosity. It protects employees from dangerous clarity.
Because in modern enterprise, the smoothest system is not the one that works best. It is the one nobody dares to untangle.
