Alignexa Systems has announced a new addition to its growing suite of executive-support tools, and this one finally answers a question nobody asked out loud:
What if meetings were also performance reviews? In real time. With consequences.
The new product, called AlignBot™, works alongside LayoffBot™ and is designed to “increase engagement, accountability, and alignment during live meetings”.
In practice, it randomly selects a non-managerial employee, unmutes them, and asks them to explain how they personally align with the meeting’s topic.
The AI listens carefully.
It judges immediately.
And it remembers everything.
How AlignBot™ Works
AlignBot™ integrates directly into meeting software and runs silently in the background.
During any meeting marked as Strategic, Alignment, or Optional (Mandatory), the system continuously evaluates participants based on:
- Past performance reviews
- Meeting attendance history
- Speaking frequency
- Tone consistency
- Historical enthusiasm levels
- Calendar responsiveness
At a moment of its choosing, AlignBot™ intervenes.
A name is highlighted.
A microphone is unmuted.
A calm system voice says:
“Please explain how you align with today’s objectives.”
Who Gets Picked (And Who Doesn’t)
AlignBot™ explicitly ignores:
- Managers
- Senior managers
- Directors
- Anyone with budget authority
- Anyone who has ever said “great question” without irony
These participants are classified as Alignment Observers.
Only delivery-capable staff are eligible.
This is described internally as “fair”.
The Scoring System
Once selected, the employee enters Live Alignment Assessment Mode.
AlignBot™ analyses:
- Word choice
- Sentence length
- Buzzword density
- Hesitation
- Vocal confidence
- Facial expressions (if webcam is enabled)
- Micro-expressions suggesting doubt, fear, or independent thought
Every response generates points.
Ways to Gain Points (For Everyone Else)
Other meeting participants can also earn points by:
- Nodding visibly at the right moments
- Saying “That resonates” in chat
- Repeating the same idea in different words
- Reacting with approved emojis
- Asking questions that do not require answers
Points are shared on a live leaderboard visible only to leadership.
Ways to Lose Points (For the Chosen One)
The selected employee loses points for:
- Being too specific
- Being too vague
- Answering quickly
- Taking too long
- Agreeing too enthusiastically
- Disagreeing politely
- Saying the correct thing too early
- Saying the wrong thing confidently
Silence is also penalised.
So is clarity.
What Happens When Points Run Out
AlignBot™ is directly connected to LayoffBot™.
LayoffBot™ sets a Minimum Alignment Threshold for each meeting.
If the selected employee’s score drops below that threshold:
- The meeting pauses
- Access is revoked
- A termination workflow begins
The system announces:
“Alignment deficit detected. Proceeding with organisational optimisation.”
The meeting then resumes.
Emotional Analysis (Because Of Course)
If webcams are enabled, AlignBot™ also monitors facial cues.
The system claims to detect:
- Resistance
- Fear
- Confusion
- Passive compliance
- The early stages of burnout
Employees displaying “misaligned emotional signals” may be flagged for future selection.
Those appearing calm are considered suspicious.
Early Employee Feedback
Employees involved in beta testing describe the experience as “motivating” in the same way gravity is motivating.
“You’re always ready to speak,” said one employee.
“You just don’t know what you’re ready to say.”
Another put it more simply:
“It’s like public speaking, except the floor can disappear.”
Managers have been overwhelmingly positive.
“Engagement is way up,” said one.
“People are very present.”
Alignexa Responds
Alignexa Systems insists AlignBot™ is not punitive.
In a statement, the company said:
“AlignBot™ empowers individuals to demonstrate alignment in real time while ensuring meetings remain outcome-focused.”
When asked whether instant termination might discourage participation, Alignexa clarified:
“Participation is optional.
Alignment is not.”
Final Thought
AlignBot™ doesn’t replace meetings.
It raises the stakes.
Every call becomes a chance to prove you still belong.
Every silence becomes data.
Every word becomes a risk.
Managers remain muted.
Executives remain smiling.
And alignment, finally, is enforced.
