ClarifiCorp™’s next beta feature is more ambitious — and now available in both software and physical form. It’s called Panic Reframe™. And it doesn’t stop emergencies.It relabels them. The Button Panic Reframe™ appears in two places: A large red button inside meetings (next to “Raise Hand”) A physical button mounted near fire alarms in some … Continue reading Panic Reframe™: Rethinking Emergencies in the Workplace
Tag: Tech satire
The Meeting That Never Ends: ClarifiCorp’s CTE Explained
ClarifiCorp™ has launched a beta feature called Corporateness Threshold Enforcement (CTE) for its ClarifiCorp Live™ platform, preventing meetings from ending until a minimum corporate language score is achieved. This has led to absurdly extended meetings, with participants hospitalised from exhaustion, as the focus shifts from decisions to maintaining proper corporate jargon, leaving many confused and disoriented.
Tech Company Sees Stock Surge After Layoffs, CEO Decides to Fire Everyone Including Himself To Send Share Price Into Orbit
In a bold move to maximise shareholder value, Dynexia Corp fires every employee and collapses into a singularity of profitability. Analysts call it “the logical endgame of capitalism.”